"Because you, don't deserve anything less than what you deserve."
1. Bitchy females
Men hate bitchy girls. Or women. Females who spend all the time finding fault with someone else, in general: his buddies, his family, any other female.
It is annoying. Men don't like being on the same subject of how short your female colleague's skirt is and how inappropriate it is for the office for 30 mins. He doesn't care. He wants his dinner.
The thing is, men are unlike women.
The average female can go on and on about the "ugly bitch" for 15 mins, discuss what we ate for dinner yesterday and how much calories we gained, and then talk about the "ugly bitch" for another 10 mins. And, that is why I need a bimbo session with my girlfriends once every week. It's really to clear out all the "toxic" in my system, to bitch about random people and random things and to gossip about others. Thus when I meet my other half (not that I have one yet. Meh.), I would be ready to go into deeper conversation, about his work, about life, future plans etc. and not engage in shallow bitchy topics.
I am definitely not saying that my girlfriends are bitches or bimbos, but it would be hypocritical to claim that I don't bitch about other people, and I don't talk bad about anyone at all. All females do to a certain extend, it's in our nature to have a little gossip every now and then.
And moral of the story is: girls, don't neglect your girlfriends for your other half. You will need a girlfriend session now and then and it certainly won't happen with your boyfriend. You'd probably just annoy the fuck outta him. I love all my girlfriends! They bring out the bitchy side in me! :-D
While writing this post, I decided to do it better and get some opinions from my male friends so I could do a better job. So the above is part of the conversation with a male friend of mine, I posed the question, "Is your other half being bitchy a major problem?" and that was his reply.
I guess one of the reasons why men can't stand their partners bitching is because if she could be so mean about her "BFF" behind her back, he would be wondering "What the hell is she telling her girlfriends about me?"
Also, I realized most guys with an active social circle of friends prefer it if their girlfriend could get along well with their mates, for the simplest of all reasons: So everyone can hang out together.
He don't have to ditch his girlfriend for his friends, and he won't have to listen to his girlfriend whining when he is out with his mates. Although... If she is an extremely bitchy female, it would be unlikely that she would be able to get along well with his friends. At the end of the day, she would be complaining how boring and lame his friends are, and disallow him to spend time with them.
It's not necessarily a major reason for a breakup but it does affect the relationship to a large extent.
2. Materialistic females
This may not seem like a huge problem in the early days of a relationship, afterall, the Prada bag she carries looks classy on her and the Chanel pumps are pretty enough.
However, women (or men) who chase after money or physical objects at the expense of relationships would likely bring unhappiness to people around them although they do not realize it as they are too caught up in their own selfish desires and materialism.
A women who is materialistic has a tainted view of relationships. She enters a relationship hoping and expecting for something. She does not contribute or bring anything with her into the relationship but yet expects to be pampered. This brings along feelings of envy and jealousy, depression and unhappiness.
Certainly, many hardworking and career-driven women are able to provide for themselves enough to not expect anything from their partner. The point that should be focused on is the extent of the materialism. If she is someone who worries about her transport fares or whether she has sufficient savings to feed herself the rest of the month, and yet is carrying the latest Gucci bag, or whines to you about how her girlfriend's boyfriends buy them branded bags, RUN AWAY. The last thing you want to do is to spend your hard earned salary on a shallow girl like that.
"I think that the average guy wants someone he can be proud of and that takes some care with her looks and appearance, but I don't think the average guy wants someone that is all consumed by it. Everyone has their own preference and limit either way."
3. Females who crave attention
I suddenly thought of this point while drafting the post. The reason why I listed "females who crave attention" as one of the major factors of a woman that men dislike is because, although most men don't realize it, females who crave attention can destroy a relationship.
It is difficult to understand the gravity of the consequences of being together with a female like this, so let me elaborate.
I have a friend, or an acquaintance actually, we have many mutual friends. So one day, when we were out just talking and joking around, someone asked him about his girlfriend. Immediately, his face changed entirely. Upon talking more, it was mentioned that his girlfriend had cheated on him more than 10 times. It could be well seen that he loves this cheating girl dearly and treated her well. So the issue is, why did she cheat on him? And it's with 10 different guys btw.
Basically the summary of everything that was said that day went like this: "Guys will talk to her on Facebook. They flatter her, they compliment her, telling her she's hot, she's pretty. She likes people to praise her. She even met this guy on Facebook, and despite never meeting him before in person, she went straight to his house for the first 'date.' I don't know what's wrong with her. I'm tired of it. When I find out, she will cry and beg me to stay and say she would never do it again. Less than 3 weeks later she cheated again. I don't know what to do anymore except close one eye and just pretend I don't know it happened."
I was really upset for him too, I mean it's pretty obvious he loves her from the way his face lights up when he talks about their good times, and he is willing to put up with so much shit and shame from her (alot of our mutual friends know about her cheating ways), yet this dumb girl obviously can't appreciate him enough to stop sleeping around.
In my opinion, it all boils down to craving attention.
First of, if she is confident of herself, of her looks, why the FUCK does she need random guys on Facebook telling her she's hot and pretty? And by actually feeling flattered, or gaining happiness or pleasure from these guys praising her, it shows an extreme lack of self confidence.
Second, I'm not saying I won't feel flattered if someone praises me. I'm grateful and thankful people appreciate me. But I don't gain happiness when people praise me, neither do I need these compliments.
Third, most guys should know this extremely well. Complimenting women, making them feel like they are wanted, is simply preying on their insecurities. Weak women fall prey to this. I'm not saying you should not compliment your girlfriend, your female friends. By this I mean complimenting someone that you know you just want to get into bed, calling her hot, pretty, getting a random females number from a club and telling her she's gorgeous.
And guys who are reading this, be wary of women who crave attention. It would be likely that she would be more concerned about her own happiness than yours. She is too busy thinking about her insecurities, about how to make herself feel better than to compliment you on your new hair cut, or to listen to your hard day at work. Comparisons are made all the time and she would expect you to flatter her, if you don't an argument ensues.
Yes, you won't feel happy either. Every little thing you say i.e. Your dress today makes you look bigger. will get picked on. She will bring this up for the next few weeks in every argument saying that you don't appreciate her, you criticize her and so on. A woman who knows and appreciate herself would simply brush it off and it would be forgotten later.
And of cuz, every girl, and woman has her insecurities. It is whether she can cope with them, or she needs the words of others to cope with them. Women who are happy and confident about themselves will add happiness to your life. A girl who craves attention is simply satisfied with anything anyone else can give her. In a healthy relationship, I believe both partners should compliment each other from time to time. It's not about an ego boost. It's letting each other know she (or him) is appreciated. A relationship is not just about giving your girlfriend the attention she needs everyday. You, the guy, deserves attention and compliments too.
100% of the guys I dated find that ungrateful females are a big turn off.
Well... I am not a guy so I can't exactly relate to that. But I am someone who believes in thanking the person, for his time, for dinner, for sending me back. Be it a simple text telling him thank you for sending me home or telling him in person, I would always do that after every date.
And to my surprise, guys like it. They like feeling appreciated. They like knowing that we women take note of the little things they do for us.
My friends always complain to me that their girlfriends take them for granted. When I asked, "In what way?", they would tell me stuff like, "Come and pick her up she complain I'm late. Bring her eat she say the place so cheapskate."
Tbh from my point of view, being around females most of the time, I find it very normal. I do complain sometimes too, like if I've to wait more than 30 minutes I get fed up as well. But I don't throw a tantrum over it. I will probably say " Now you have to buy dinner." Because to me, it's no big deal. It's not something that's tantamount to anything serious enough for an argument.
The point is, he made the effort to pick me up, and that is sufficient enough for him to be appreciated.
But now I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about guys. And the fact is, similarly to us females, guys like to know that they are appreciated and valued.
And how exactly do you show your appreciation? The thing about (most) guys is, they are contended with little actions. (quoted from male friends of mine) You don't have to buy him a diamond necklace or a LV wallet to make him smile.
Do little things. Massage his back. Pay for the next dinner or buy him a round of drinks. Surprise him with the book he wants and tell him you appreciate everything he does for you. In my past relationship, I even buy silly stuff like chocolate biscuits or his favorite sweets and just put it in his bag. I can tell you, this means a hell lot do the guy if he is in love with you and it will just make him feel that he is, indeed with the girl of his dreams.
Time to buck up fellow girls.
This is one major attitude of females that men dislike.
How do you define a 'princess'? In my own opinion, I believe it's someone who is extremely demanding, narcissistic, petty, immature, critical and selfish. (see Ungrateful Females)
I've never met a 'princess' before and honestly, I don't think I am one. I expect that a guy treat me reasonably nicely and respect me. That's about it. I don't demand for more neither do I expect for more.
And with all sincerity and honesty, I think respect for a woman- be it the aunty selling food at the coffee shop, or your mother's friends, or the beautiful woman in the club- is the least a man should do. You were brought into the world by a woman and no matter how it works, any gentleman or self-respecting man should treat every single girl, or woman, with the respect you would expect your daughter's boyfriend to give to her later in life.
6. Women who are too clingy/overly independent
These are 2 far opposite characteristics and men don't like either of them. I think the challenge is to find the right balance between being too clingy and overly independent.
Now, women who are too clingy, who can't leave you alone for a night with your friends, who can't take care of herself, who needs you there with her 24/7 is a major turn off.
Guys need their space, they need time to hang out with their friends, to play their computer games, to work, to just chill out alone sometimes.
And it's seriously annoying if his other half does not give him his space and constantly demands attention all the time.
On the other hand, overly independent women. To be frank, I don't find this a turn off at all but I guess I can understand why it's a cause to be upset about from a male's point of view.
Overly independent women do not need a guy and she shows it without realizing it. For example, when her boyfriend wants to send her home, she insists there is not a need to and that she will be fine going home at 5am herself.
The thing is, she doesn't realize it's not about her.
Men who love their girlfriends want to protect her. He wants to care for her and show it. He is protective of her well being and wants to ensure that she is safe, and loved. The woman does not realize it. By brushing off his well meant actions makes him feel that he is not wanted nor needed by her.
I would choose to think of myself as close to the latter but also with a mix of the former at times. Perhaps somewhere in between. I don't need a guy in my life, but I want someone to love, to care for and hopefully, to have these feelings reciprocated through actions. It's kind of confusing for me, because at times I can be wanting to have someone beside me so badly, but yet also feel that I don't really need anyone to be there for me. Like I said, the challenge is to find the right balance and I'm still learning to do it.
7. PMS females
Hahaha. This is probably the WORST of all.
Most guys don't understand what the fuck did he do wrong. During our PMS days, it's not about you that's wrong. It's usually the females' fault. And don't blame us. It's our hormones.
It would be perfect if a guy could understand the agony of our cramps and also how depressed some of us get sometimes during this period. We could be more sensitive and emotional than usual, and what we want is just for someone to be there.
However, I do understand the shit we drag our boyfriends through during our PMS periods. Guys get scolded for no reason, mood swings tremendously, everything he says gets picked on.
It is difficult, but after years, I finally managed to control my emotions even while having difficult periods. I get really bad cramps (once my Dad wanted to call an ambulance to take me into hospital lol it was that bad) to the extent I roll around in agony and cry to myself and I have tremendous, crazy, psychotic mood swings. I don't know why, I just couldn't help it.
But after taking years of pain, panadols and learning, I learnt to say "Give me a minute" when I feel like throwing a tantrum or just screaming at my other half for no reason. And if I feel that I was about to erupt through Whatsapp, despite what my inner evil self was screaming at me to do (scold him, fuck him off), I would calmly reply that I was going to take a nap and to talk later on.
And it works. All the time. No more arguments (which we can never recall why it started) during my period (in my past relationships) and it was more of a time where I felt more closely bonded to my other half because I was more emotional and able to speak clearly of how I feel.
So, for guys - how to handle PMS females.
The answer is, you can't. I don't even know how to handle myself during my PMS days.
The easiest, easiest thing to do is, don't entertain her. Yes it may sound cruel, but trust me, give it an hour, she would be back to the sweet, charming and adorable girl you were dating.
Tell her she is loved and appreciated, and if she is still intent on picking a fight, take some time apart from each other. It's the evil PMS hormones and not our fault. lol!
Anyway, I hope this post is well written and that it meets to the expectations of those who read my blog, and yes, I spent 18 hours on this post, trying my best to project the inner voices and thoughts of males.
Don't forget! I am a female and it's frickin not easy to see things through a guy's perspective and for my female readers I hope it provides some insight to how men feel.
I will be thinking and start drafting another new post soon so do check back! :-D