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Saturday, March 29, 2014

7 things guys REALLY want

Men.

They aren't complex. Us girls try to figure them out, do detective work on their past, play confusing mind games, attempt to detect if there's any hidden meanings in what he tells you. 

Unfortunately, most of the time, there isn't any mystery to solve. And if he really wants the relationship to work, he'd tell you everything about his past if you ask. Nope, no detective work needed.

I also realized that there are TOO many articles on what a woman wants, what should a guy do for his girlfriend and how to please a woman, thus I would like to write this, sharing what I've learnt from previous dating experiences and past relationships.

Speaking for the average male here in Singapore, here are 7 things which a guy REALLY wants:

I would like to think that most guys are contended easily, and I dare say this article applies to most guys, but there'll obviously be exclusions to my stereotype.



1. Be beautiful. Or learn to be. 

A real man would like his partner to be beautiful. Not in terms of physical appearance but her heart.

She should be generous, passionate, compassionate and kind.

She should not be calculative, cruel with her words, and unappreciative.

She should not only be kind to people who are close to her, but this kindness should extend out to everyone who needs it. It can be simply saying thank you to the waitress serving your dinner, it can be empathizing with the less fortunate person selling tissue paper, but a woman who has the above mentioned traits is beautiful, not just to her boyfriend, but to everyone else who is lucky to have interacted with her. 

2. Listen. 

A lot of people I know seem to think everything is about them. When your boyfriend is telling you about his rough day at work, or how tiring his training in army was, please do NOT make it about you. A guy complains lesser than a woman, so if he does confides in you about how crappy he feels, it means he really needs to get it out, don't start telling him about how bad your day was too. 

Your boyfriend deserves to have your full attention and it's not all about you - listen, and you'll realize that it'd bring both of you closer. You can't listen or understand him properly when you are trying to talk too. 

3. Show him affection. 

Most guys don't talk about this because it'll make him seem like a softie. 

In fact, guys love affection. Run your fingers through his hair, squeeze his hand, rub his back, kiss his neck for no reason, he'd like it. 

As much as we girls love guys playing with our hair, (I love my guy to stroke my hair as I fall asleep), hug us from the back, kiss our forehead and cuddle us, guys love it if we do the same things back to them so go ahead and make him feel loved.

4. Understand him.  

So many women find that their partners may be impassive or unable to express how he feels properly. I'm telling you, it's normal. A guy may use every ounce of courage he has to tell his woman how much he loves her, only for her to say: "Are you sure?"

A guy can be insecure too, and because he is a guy, he will find it difficult to tell you of his insecurities. Underneath his tough guy facade, he will be torn thinking if his good enough for you, if you deserve better and whether you feel this way. Reassure him from time to time, show him love and affection, never try to make him jealous because it will hurt him more than you ever know.

He will find it hard to express himself, but if you are patient enough, he will show you a side of him you'll never realized existed. And when he does, realize you are fortunate enough to be the one to explore this side of him.

5. Trust him.

When a guy truly loves you, he would never do anything to hurt you. Yes, there are exceptions to this theory, but these exceptions only occur when the guy loves himself more than you.

Do not doubt him, do not question him or do anything to make him lose his faith. If he gives you his word that he will not cheat on you, believe him.

(If he does - it's him who loses you and a guy who cheats is never worth your tears.)

6. Treat him the way you want to be treated. 

Respect - Even if what he suggests or says sounds silly, do not laugh at him if he was being serious. It will hurt his ego, and broken pride can be tricky to navigate around. Tell him nicely, talk to him and explain why you disagree.

Understanding - Understand his needs, his wants and his burdens. Even if you can't help him much, it's comforting for him to know that you'd be around for him and not desert him when he needs you. 

Understand why is he keeping quiet, maybe he had a bad day at work, or maybe something is bothering him. 

Care - If his upset or mad at something, don't ignore him even if you have to text him 20 times. It's not about being desperate, it's letting him know, you care.

Tell him you care, you love him, and all the sweet, romantic stuff, YOU want him to tell you. Don't just wait to receive, as much as you like him telling you stuff like that, he would appreciate you being honest and open about your feelings towards him.

Surprises - I really reeeeaally love surprises. And as much as we all like to receive, I think it's great if both parties can love to give. Simple things like buying his favorite chocolate or the book he was telling you about, will let him know you do think of him even when his not around you. 

7. Be a goddess in bed. 

You don't have to look like Megan Fox to appeal to him. Be confident about yourself, it's not only you that's feeling awkward the first time you sleep together, he has insecurities too and as much as you are worrying whether he notices the cellulite on your butt, he is trying his best to make his stomach look as small as possible - and oh does his armpits smell?

I'm not saying you have to give him a mind blowing blow job, but it'll be fantastic if you can attempt to. If you're unsure whether he likes it, ask him.

If you don't fancy him eating you down below, tell him at the start. If a guy thinks you like something, he will do it, again and again. And if you hate oral sex, it's going to be embarrassing telling him you don't like it after he has been giving it to you for months. Yes, it'll also make him feel stupid.

Tell him how you love the way his lips are, how handsome he is, how perfect you think he is, tell him he was awesome in bed - and mean it. It will make his day or even his week, and he will try his best to please you more.

Many people don't realize that communication is an important part of sex, telling each other how you feel, makes you more vulnerable and 'exposed', and the sex that follows is gonna be mind blowing.

***
www.strawbunnyy.blogspot.com 



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Thank you for reading. 

14 comments:

  1. Very nice and thoughtful post!!
    Enjoyed reading!

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  2. Very true! This is extremely relatable.

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  3. Very nice read!
    This article made so much sense!

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  4. forgot to state that we guys don't like makeup ladies

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  5. You forgotten to state that we guys don't like ladies to put heavy make up .

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  6. hi this is true! i agree with you (:

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  7. This sound so right... I mean so true. :).
    You're pretty. :). I love this most pretty much more then i could ever thought of... Thank you. :)

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  8. Beautifully written. Cheers!

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  9. Really incite-full as always, I don't know how you know all this! but it's spot on, at least for me :)

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  10. Good read. I'm happy to say after 27 years, i'm finally with someone who possess all of these qualities and i feel like i'm the luckiest guy on earth.

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  11. "Many people don't realize that communication is an important part of sex, telling each other how you feel, makes you more vulnerable and 'exposed', and the sex that follows is gonna be mind blowing." Ok Totally agree with this

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  12. I like the lace.

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    ReplyDelete